I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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