i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
