I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
