so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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