$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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