After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
