I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
