Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
