there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
