After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
