I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
