he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
