seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
