NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
