umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
