The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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