Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
