you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize