Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
