If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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