I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
