We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize