Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
