I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
