My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's blow job season.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
