I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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