So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
a search helicopter?!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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