If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
