ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
