help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
