True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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