real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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