you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
