just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
