ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
