Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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