D3 body, D1 cock
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
