ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
