I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
