Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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