five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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