so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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