Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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