So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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