You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
