She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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