so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Pants are for mortals
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
