we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize