Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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