is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
