Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
