im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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