he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
