i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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