Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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