I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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