im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
