Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
