nut hugger
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize