I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
