I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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