You work out of a Hotel?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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