dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
NoShamevember. You game?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
