She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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