So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
