The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize