In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
