Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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