Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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