I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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