i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize