i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
