wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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