U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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