we're blogging at a bar
I bet he comes in French.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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