Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
