i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
