Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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